Children’s Poems

Busy Mr. Thelby
“Tell me,”
said old Mister Thelby.
“Tell me Walter Hugh,
Why are you so blue?”

“Cause I’m bored
and it’s cold,
and there’s nothing here to do.”

“Cause you’re bored
and it’s cold?
Why, then there’s a million things to do.”

“Blah,” said Walter.
“I’m certain that’s not true?”

“Maybe not for you, all in a tizzy,
But as for me, well,
I’m quite busy.

I open the window
And shut it again
I time my dear fishy,
How fast it can swim!
I make my own games,
So I know I will win.
I rattle my keys
to make a great din.
I suck in my cheeks
to make me look thin,
Then I show my old parents
to make them both grin.

And then, of course,
I must take care of my horse.
I put on his halter and…”

“Enough!” shouted Walter.

“Can’t you see, dear Mister Thelby,
I don’t care what you do,
Just don’t tell me!
Because no matter how many
Stories you’ve stored and have told.
It doesn’t change the fact
that I’m bored and it’s cold.”

“Ha! You’re bored and it’s cold.
You sound a lot like green mold.”

“Please Mister Thelby. Please, go away.
I’m not in the mood
for your jokes today!”

“Not in the mood?
I’m going to choke.
No one’s never not in the mood
for a good Mister Thelby joke.

Want to you hear the one about
the elephant who had four ears?”
“No.”
“How about the farmer who breeds only steers?”
“No, No”
“How the ghost that nobody fears?”
“NO NO NO”

“I don’t care about elephants who have four ears
Or farmers who only raise poor steers?
Or ghosts that nobody fears.

Can’t you see Mister Thelby,
I’m getting a headache from jests and jeers.”

“Fine then. Be that way.
Fine then. Fine, I say.
Go ahead and be in a tizzy.
But as for me…”

“Yes. I know you’re quite busy.”

“Yes, well.
I’ve got an appointment for just after three.
It seems my cat wants to interview me.
And after the meeting,
right around four,
I plan to be eating
Then lie on the floor.
There I will stay
till five comes around.
Then I’ll walk myself out
and lie on the ground.
I have vases to break at just after six
And at seven o’clock
They will need to be fixed.
At eight o’clock I shall feed the pup…

“One thing I’m sure of,”
Said Walter.
“You’ll never shut up!
So if you will not be quiet.
Really, you ought to try it.
And if you will not lower your voice
Then I’m afraid I must leave.
You leave me no choice.”

So Walter left at a quarter to two.
And poor Mr. Thelby
had nothing to do.

 


Dante Bellafonte’s Boss
Just LOVED to eat spaghetti sauce.
He ate it with noodles,
He ate it with bread,
He ate with poodles,
He ate it with Fred.
He ate it with chips,
He ate it with Laura,
He ate it with Fauna,
He ate it with Flora.

After rubbing his belly, he’d say how he feels.
“Momma Mia, Spaghetti Sauce makes a gooda meals!”

Now Dante Bellafonte always tried
To get on his boss’s better side.
He reported to work every day very early.
Even before his coworker, Shirley.
And he always said, “How do you do?”
He opened the door and bowed, “After you.”
He even bought gifts to give to his boss,
Like stockings, and pencils, and dental floss.
But for some reason, Dante’s boss, still didn’t like him much.
Dante scratched his head and kicked the ground, “Just my luck.”

One day, Dante heard his boss talking to Shirley,
“You’re a greata worker, and you’re always aworka early!
I likea you, Shirley, and this is true!
I wish that alla the workers could be likea you!”

Shirley went to the fridge and found her nice
 Tupperware,
“Boss, this is for you!” she said, waving it in the air.
Dante’s boss smiled from ear to ear and started to drool.
“I wonder what that is,” Dante said, trying to act cool.
“If I could give him something like that, he’d like me!” He thought.
B
ut Dante couldn’t guess what was in that dish that Shirley had brought.

While Dante was scratching his head one day,
He overheard his coworker, Travonte, say,
“We’re having a party for the big boss guy.”
I know what I’m bringing,” Shirley said, winking her eye.
For Shirley realized that the key to heart of the boss
Was none other than delicious Spaghetti sauce!
After all,
He ate it with noodles,
He ate it with bread,
He ate with poodles,
He ate it with Fred. etc. etc.

Dante thought for a moment about what he should bring,
Potato salad, egg plant fondue, or artichoke dumplings?
Jalapeno tofu burgers? Deep fried tomatoes? Or pizza with corn?
So many choices to make. It was tough, indeed he was torn!

What do you think Dante should bring?
Remember, the key to the heart of Dante’s boss
is in the ___________________.

The party was coming the next day and Dante was at home petting his ferrets.
“Oh, I give up,” he said “I’ll just bring some cut up celery and carrots.”
So he went to his kitchen and opened the fridge but there were no greens
He had no carrots or celery or corn or tomatoes or even those artichoke things.
In fact there wasn’t even enough lettuce for a single salad for him to toss.
All that was there was a lonely, tired old open jar of his mamma’s spaghetti sauce.
Dante just hung his head and let out a sigh.
I guess this will have to do for the big boss guy.

The next day, Dante got up took his shower and grabbed the jar of sauce for spaghetti.
He got to work early and when he saw what others had brought he felt like a Yeti.
Others had brought cakes, and chicken wings and chicken bakes and homemade pies.
Oh, he felt so silly about what he had brought he almost didn’t tell the other guys.
Noon came around and the party was started.
The boss came out looking very sad.
“Shirley’s not here today,” he said because of her dad.
The others tried to cheer him up with cakes, and chicken bakes and homemade pies,
But the boss just sat there choking back the tears in his eyes.

Soon, it was Dante’s turn to bring in his dish.
“This is it,” he though. “If I could have just one wish,
I would have stopped at the store and bought a nice fish.”

But when he brought in his spaghetti sauce
A great big smile appeared on the face of the boss.
“Is that what I think it is?” he asked licking his lips.
“If you think it’s spaghetti sauce, then it is.”
Said Dante feeling ashamed.
Suddenly the party came alive
And the boss took a deep dive
into Dante’s old poor open jar of his mamma’s spaghetti sauce.
“I likea you, Dante. Yourea gooda worker, and you always a comein avery early!
You’re a lota better friend than thata old lady, what’s her name? Shirley!”
It was then that Dante realized:
Dante Bellafonte’s Boss
Just LOVED to eat spaghetti sauce.
He ate it with cakes,
He ate it with chicken bakes,
He ate with pies,
He ate it with fries,
He ate it with Travonte,
And he ate it with Dante!


 

Past Tense
“You look real good!”
“What did he say?”
“He said you looked real good!”
“Oh, Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“What did he say?”
“He said you were welcome.”
“Oh.”
“What’s wrong with his hearing?”
“Nothing. He only understands past tense.”
“What did you say?”
“I said you only understood past tense.”
“Oh. That was right. I did.”


 

Snailevator
Elevator, Elevator,
Why are you so slow?
I’ve been waiting here for hours
with no place else to go,
even though
right there
are stairs.
I know what they’re for.
But gawly willakers,
I live on the 15th floor!
So if it’s all the same to you,
I’d like to change your name.
Since you’re a lower people hater,
Think I’ll call you the snailevator!


 

Lemona Begonia and Sonya Lasagna
were worried about their best friend, Tonya.

“Tonya,”
Said Sonya,
“We must question ya.
What is that thing
That’s growing upon ya?
A root?
A flute?
A cowboy boot?
A stork?
A fork?
A piece of pork?

None and neither,
said Tonya Peter.

“Is it a crane?”
Asked Lamona again.

It’s neither a stork nor a crane,
Said Tonya Peter Cain.

“Well, is it a toy?
Or a sauce, such as soy?
Or a baseball bat for a little boy?”

Neither a toy for a boy
Nor a sauce, such as soy.
said Tonya Peter Cain McCoy.

“Well, is it a tree?
Or a present for me?
Maybe a great big ship I can sail in the sea!?”

Neither a ship nor a gift to put under a tree,
said Tonya Peter Cain McCoy McGee.

“I got it!” said Sonya.
“It must be a book,
Or a hook for a schnook,
Or maybe instructions on how to cook!”

Neither a hook for a schnook, nor a book how to cook,
said Tonya Peter Cain McCoy McGee Istook.

“Well, we must admit,
We’re well beyond troubled,”
The two friends of Tonya said doubled.
“And if you can, won’t you please explain
What are you growing, is it a stain?”

It’s not a stain,
And if you’re through with your guessing, I’ll gladly explain,
You’ll laugh when I at last proclaim,
I’m simply growing myself a name!

Said Tonya Peter Cain McCoy McGee Istook Chastain!


 

Don’t take advice from Dr. Tomelli
Shelly used to eat toast and jelly,
Till her belly
got big.

So she saw her friend named Dr. Tomelli
who ordered her to stop
eating toast and jelly.

What’s the moral of this story?
Don’t ask advice from Dr. Tomelli.

Because he failed to realize
Shelly also ate other things

like

hamburgers and fries
pork ribs and thighs
chicken and dumplings
and a number of other things.

For dessert she had cake and
–well, no never snake–
but she loved to eat banana splits.
So as to her belly, that’s probably what caused it.

Published by RLMartin

Write, Teach, Farm WTF!

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