Indigenous Columbus People’s Day!

In the late 1800s, a mob of white people shot, hung and dismembered 11 Italians (now considered white people) partly because they were Catholic and they were taking their jobs. The New York Times, which apparently has been fueling racism and hate since well before the day of George Floyd, applauded the murders: “These…descendants of bandits and assassins…are to us a pest without mitigations,” the Times editors wrote.

Many Americans were outraged, and Italy cut off relations with us. In response, President Harrison appointed Friday, October 21, 1892, “the four hundredth anniversary of the discovery of America by Columbus, as a general holiday for the people of the United States.”

That was a one-day thing. It did not become a federal holiday until 1937 when the Knights of Columbus pushed FDR for it. The Knight of Columbus was founded in 1882 by an Irish Catholic priest to protect Irish immigrants and their families from the same anti-Catholic and anti-immigrant sentiment that the Italians were facing.

I understand the motivations of the Knights. I understand the reason we have Columbus day. It’s a day to celebrate and value immigrants. And I understand the rightful desire to celebrate the Indians, those who have been here a lot longer than all other immigrants. But I don’t really understand Joe Biden’s recent proclamations:

First October 9 is Indigenous Peoples day.

And second October 9 is Columbus Day.

Otherwise known as “How many cultures can we kiss up to at once” day.

Is it too much to ask that these two groups, one European and one Indigenous, that were discriminated against, have their own holiday? It’s almost as bad as Joe declaring Asian American and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander month.

I’m no president, but here’s my proclamation: By the powers divested in me, I hereby proclaim October 9 Indigenous Columbus People’s Day. I direct all flags to be flown and 3/4 mast. And I command that everyone trade their garlic bread for fry bread. At least for this one evening.