I’ve been spending more time with my dog during the lockdown. He’s teaching me a lot. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned so far under his tutelage.
1. When you see people, always act like you’re really excited.
2. When you take a walk, take time to smell stuff, even flowers.
3. Water is probably the only liquid you really need to drink. (When he told me that I said “shut up!”)
4. Take a lot more naps and don’t worry; your master will feed you.
5. When you are out for a walk, you might as well pretend the whole territory is yours. Mark it and pretend you own the place.
6. Cats suck.
7. Squirrels are rats with bushy tails that must be chased off your property at all costs.
8. If something doesn’t look right, say something: very, very loudly, over and over again until someone tells you, “shut up, it’s nothing.” And when they tell you to “shut up, it’s nothing” don’t get your feelings hurt. Time for another nap. You did your job.
9. You get more treats when you beg and whine.
10. Baths everyday? What’s up with that?